HELPFULNESS

Hello everyone!

I remember with fondness the closing lines of a big book by Hans Kung called "On Being a Christian". At the end he asks if he can summarise everything that he has said previously to convey what it means to be a Christian in today's world. He says:

By following Jesus Christ

Man in the world of today

Can truly, humanly live, act, suffer and die,

in happiness and unhappiness,

life and death,

sustained by God and helpful to men.

I wanted to concentrate on the "helful to men part", because one of our motivations for change is to be more helpful, to contribute, to be of greater service and to move beyond our limited self-concerns and self-interests.

I have made the commitment this year to being more open, authentic, honest and helpful in my interactions with others. The reflection of this in the world has been the appearence that others have approached me who are more open, authentic, honest and helpful in their interactions with me.

This happened on Monday in a telephone conversation with the young, thoughtful, sensitive and honest Director for whom I auditioned last Saturday. I didn't get the part. Having been told that we should hear by the end of the day what the decisions were and having not heard anything, I had left a message.

I didn't know that in terms of the name of the game this was really pretty unprocedural. seasoned actors just move on if they have heard nothing and assume that "on this occasion, I'm afraid, you were unsuccessful". As I say, this was my first ever professional acting audition and I had no guidelines as to what I was meant to be doing.

There is not much more emotionally high maintenance than an actor who lacks confidence (with the possible exception of women who love too much and SEN children). The Director said that there was nothing inherently wrong with my acting ability, but only my fully embodying it and my confidence in expressing it. He said that my lack of confidence would create anxieties in him and that this would involve him in more time having to give specific directions to me than he would have available. We spoke enthusiastically about the project and he gave one or two helpful suggestions about what I might do to improve the situation. He said that he would still appreciate my involvement in one of the more minor roles if I remained open to it. It was a conversation of greater value than if I had simply succeeded in obtaining the part.

Our willingness to be honest, authentic and vulnerable matter. The creative possibilities of our lives are immeasurably enriched when we agree to a more open, honest and authentic way of communicating with each other.

Best wishes

JD